I’ve been trying to keep things light lately. It’s the holiday season and I want to remain positive and fun. Today, however, I would like to get a little genuine and in-depth about some things.
I have a chapter in my book titled, Standing Naked In The Mirror. This chapter is about how I caught a glimpse of myself when I stepped out of the tub. I didn’t know the reflection of that stranger in the mirror staring back at me. So, that lead me to a point where I had to become really contentious and forthright with myself.
I questioned myself on the following:
- Who am I
- Why am I here
- What type of person am I really
- What do I need to change
- How can I become a better human being
I ripped myself a new one! I tore myself down to rebuild a better me. A lot of us know who we truly are deep down. We realize when we haven’t been the kindest to most people. We know when we are not happy. We know when we should improve our relationships with people. We also know when we are wrong about many things that we have done.
Here’s the main question, though. Can you admit these things about yourself? Not just brushing things away by saying, I’m not perfect but… (Here’s the gotcha – none of us are).
A lot of us refuse to see things negatively or positively about ourselves. However, we are quick to point out negative elements about what we see in others – and what they need to change. And while you are pointing a finger – three fingers are pointing back at you – and depending on how your thumb looks, your thumb could be pointing back at you as well. 🙂
Are you able to apologize? If you know that a person feels as though you have hurt them, can you sincerely and honestly express regret? Would you tell a person via email, card, text, or in-person – “Hey, I understand that I may have done some things to hurt you or put you down. I just would like to say, I am sorry.
I challenged myself to address and focus on each and every one of these questions. I concluded that I had so much work to do to become a better person. One of the main people I needed to apologize to first is myself. I hadn’t been kind to me. Remarkably, that day in the bathroom changed my life.
Here’s what we can take away from my experience. (Trust me, I still need these steps myself – I live day-to-day just like everyone else).
- Take stock in who you really are. (If you know you can be voiceless, docile, unkind, rude, self-centered, narcissistic, revel in other people’s pain, etc. – admit it) In that chapter, one of my friends believed that I was playing the victim. Rather than denying or becoming defensive, I thought long and hard about the situation and attempted to work through it. I realized that she may have had a point.
- Know that it is a day-to-day struggle. Do not get it mixed up, each of us has a good side and a bad side. It is up to us which one we would like to take the wheel. A lot of days, we allow our experiences to guide us. We will have days when we are tired and frustrated. We cannot allow our grievances to dictate our behavior.
- No one knows you better than you know yourself! Be conscious and aware of who you are deep down. What would you like your purpose to be?
These are the main ingredients for living Unhappily Never After – taking stock in oneself to live an honest and happy life. I can truly go on and on regarding this topic. I will break it up from time to time.
Thank you for listening and please give some thought to what I am saying.