It’s almost June and for us single ladies, we know what that means – WEDDINGS. Either we are asked to attend the wedding, or asked to be an attendant (bridesmaid or hostess) in the wedding. Whichever one you choose, it can be a stressful occasion for not only the bride, but for you as well. I used to love weddings. I have been in several myself. But, as I found myself being a bridesmaid and never becoming a bride, weddings have dropped a lot lower on my list of favorites. I made a vow that I would never be in another wedding again. I would much rather sit in the audience. The money that I have spent on dresses and shoes that I will NEVER wear again, could actually have been put towards a very nice gift instead. Hearing your friend subconsciously throwing jabs at the fact that she is getting married and you are not – I can do without as well. Do not get me wrong. Weddings are beautiful ceremonies that are meant to be celebrated with friends and family. Not to mention that I am genuinely happy for the bride and groom. However, these same weddings can often be a huge magnifying glass held up in the faces of single women reminding them they have not yet accomplished this attainment. (Is getting married an attainment or goal? I don’t know if I used the appropriate word – for some it might be).
So, here are a few suggestions that I would like to share with those of you who would like to know how to make it through this season unscathed.
If you are going to be a member of the bridal party: Be there for her. This is what you have signed up for. She is your friend or relative, and you want to make sure that she is happy and that her day is beautiful and stress free. That means running a lot of errands and planning a wedding that is not your own – for a friend who will be less than appreciative at times. I know that she will be annoying. However, it is her day and she has every right to be as exasperating as she chooses. If you are thin-skinned to the fact that you are single, get over it or at least suppress it. Don’t let her often insensitive comments like, “you wouldn’t understand” or “maybe one day”, get to you. It will all be over soon. Just breathe, keep smiling, stay positive and have fun. You never know, the groomsmen that is escorting you down the aisle, may be single and ready to mingle.
Catching the bouquet: Don’t rush to the front of the line to catch that darned bouquet. I have seen single women push other single women out of the way just so they can catch those flowers. You look desperate. I know it is all in fun – you look desperate (LOL). Calm down. If the bouquet is meant for you, it will be thrown in your direction and fall into your hands. Don’t push anyone out of the way – really.
If you are going to be a guest: Well, that is pressure too. What if you do not have a plus one? Or, if you do have a plus one and things aren’t that serious yet, then what do you do? I don’t know which one is worse, being in the bridal party or being a guest. I am being serious. You are going to get asked, “why are you still single” or “when are you getting married” more than once that day. The poor guy that you are with is going to be put on the spot as well. If you are at the wedding alone, the stares and the whispers are going to be magnified times ten. The only suggestions I have to offer is – buy the sexiest (not skanky or sleazy) outfit that is wedding appropriate, go to the beauty salon and get your hair, make-up and nails done, and be confident and smile. Don’t let anyone see that you are stressed because you are single. If you are in fact asked about your marital status, answer politely by saying either of the following:
· You can take the honesty route and say that you simply do not know when you are getting married.
· Brush them off by saying, whenever you know, they will be the first to receive an invitation
· If you have in fact been dating someone for a while, say something like, we would like to make sure that we are not rushing into anything because the institution of marriage is not to be taken lightly.
· You can say something humorous like, we are taking donations to pay for a wedding, since they are so expensive.
· If you are tired of them asking you, just ask them what’s the rush or deflect by saying, what a beautiful day or doesn’t the bride look lovely (Make sure that you are smiling)
I hope that this helps someone. Your day will come. In the meantime, enjoy life and all it has to offer.
To the mothers: Have a wonderful Mother’s Day.
I cannot say which parent I love the most because I love them both just the same. But, my mother is one of my best friends in the entire world. I enjoy her company and her love. I couldn’t ask for a greater mom.
Enjoy your week,
Welcome to Unhappily Never After. This is a relationship, fashion, and lifestyle blog that is meant to be a safe and positive place where we as women can respectfully come together and pass on our ideas of what it means to have a happy "single" life. Read More…