Are you someone or do you know someone who is always moving on to the next person-from relationship to relationship? What I mean by relationship is an intimate ‘dating’ association, or as I call it – Warm Body Syndrome. Warm Body Syndrome means that whenever one breaks up with a person, it is under a month or two before they have a new warm body in their bed to cuddle [ among other things] with.
As people, we are put here to connect with one another – whether it is through friendship, familial blood ties, or intimate attachment . We can’t help but become emotionally involved with the individuals we love and who show us love in return. Though if someone dares to break that bond or reject our love, how does one react during these situations?
Do we spiral out of control (Admittedly so, I did)? In contrast, do we immediately pick ourselves up and move forward? Or, do we go through a grieving period and carry on? While the first two are a bit extreme, the latter is the most sensible. This brings about the question – why do certain individuals need to be in a relationship to be happy?
Is it a fear of being alone?
Some folks are afraid of walking into an empty house. The quiet is frightening. It forces people to face that they are alone. There is a term – monophobia. Phobia means fear of and mono is a prefix that means one or single. Put the two together and you have the fear of being single/alone. We look to others to comfort us when we are sad, congratulate us when we have accomplishments, and hold us when we crave intimacy. Without anyone there to offer us this contentment, we become fearful that we will never find anyone who would be willing to give us these sensations again. So, a few will move on rather quickly in hopes that the fear doesn’t consume them.
In love with being ‘in love’?
There are so many out there who are in love with the notion of being in love. These individuals believe that the fairy-tales are true. They realize that with love comes bumps and bruises. Therefore, if things don’t work out – on to the next one. They fall for others rather quickly. People like this don’t even care that their significant other’s quirks are annoying – for a while. Yet, these same individuals will question themselves deep down on whether they would rather stay with this person or leave. Most likely he/she will eventually leave because the newness of a relationship is more tempting than experiencing strife. They will keep kissing frogs until they find their perfect prince or princess.
Your love is validated when you are a part of a couple?
After a breakup, a person’s self-esteem is lowered. Some may then believe that they are not worth loving. Or, they may question what they have done for their significant other to leave them. Whenever a few are in a relationship, they feel validated that they are worth loving. Why? Because being in a couple shows outsiders that they are valued by someone. People who feel like this operate based on how they are viewed by not only themselves, but how they are viewed by others. So, they move from one person to the next.
If there is a fear of being alone, know that you are not alone at all. You have yourself. How do you know if you are in fact lovable – or likable for that matter – if you cannot learn to love yourself?
- Take a breather between relationships. This is a good time to be with friends and family and recapture what you had before you become a ‘we’again.
- Find yourself by doing things that you enjoy. How would you know what you like as an individual unless you learn how to do things alone.
- No one can validate you but you. Know that you are validated by how you treat others, not who you have on your arm or in your bed.
Have a great weekend everyone. Thanks for reading.